The Bittersweet of happy holidays (Mostly Sweet!)

My first article! Better make it good right? Well there's a ton on my mind given that there was father's day and birthdays just past and you know there are several reasons why we should celebrate. These days you go on social media and you see posts of someone's father they love and how awesome it is to celebrate their day. And for most it's an awesome day! I love this so much because naturally I am a positive person and I want to grow that side of myself as well. 

There is however another side of birthdays and father's days that some friends experience REAL loss and their lives become daily battles for a time. Divorces, deaths from being taken too soon, or the harsh nature of life. I have my own experiences and I can attest that most of my life my family has our own share of loss as well. So I write this article for the people that have hard times celebrating what these happy moments are for. Love.

I remember the most recent loss in my life in 2013. A great woman in my life and without bringing you guys all down I'll tell you ...

  • she fed me when we had nothing
  • she fixed my holey socks (I burned through socks ...)
  • she gave me advice even when my naive heart was not hearing it.


Grandma was amazing! And the trick of me being ok after is ... SHE STILL IS!

When I lost my grandma I honestly did try everything to get better, except what I should have done in the first place. I had:

  • work to get back to
  • bills to pay
  • a life to live

and I did what most of us do; to shut things out. months pass things didn't change and I tried everything. So being at the very edge of my sanity and nothing left to lose, my eyes were opened when I did the opposite of shutting my thoughts out and remembered grandma. My point of realization came when asking myself: "What is the pain?" The answer? Because I loved her so much. By so much I mean I dropped life when I got the call at 3am, booked the flight by 3:30am, was on the plane by 7am back to Toronto by 5pm and doing illegal things on the road with my pal Shawn just so I can hold her hand to say good bye.

And yeah life did stop for me as it did every time I've lost someone in my family. This time was different though the feelings were different. There was not one single reason that got me feeling my jolly ol' self once again. More like it was a concerted effort of many good things. So I wanted to write this to help all who battle this in hopes that it will provide you peace of mind. So here they are:

1) Do positive things for your bodyWhen you have negative thoughts about anything it is important to do positive things for your body vs abusive things. Yes there is a time when you really really need some abusive things at the 100 proof level, but all good things will start at a physical level before the mind can be good.

2) Forgetting does not help the situation so don't -  You love them then keep loving them. Matter of fact tell stories to everyone keep them alive because remember the best of them is left with you. You are their hopes and dreams that they left behind. They have left you, but they are always with you. Even physics says matter cannot be created nor destroyed.

3) Live for them - MAKE EVERY SHINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE AN ACCOLADE FOR THEM. If you believe in afterlife and you believe in things beyond natural life then do things profoundly so they can hear you from up above. If they watch from above then you know that every day they wish for your happiness. So make your life a testament to theirs.